First Comes Love... a new series

We’ve all heard the popular ditty, and, if you’re like me, you’ve been scolded for singing it!  Our family doesn’t particularly like this rhyme, but I’m indebted to it for my title:

First comes love,

Then comes marriage,

Here they come

With a baby carriage!

First Comes Love… part one

Help, Lord; for the godly man ceaseth; for the faithful fail from among the children of men.  They speak vanity every one with his neighbor: with flattering lips and with a double heart do they speak.  —Psalm 12:1-2

In a world abounding with Hollywood romances, faulty perfectionist ideals, and recreational dating patterns, the heart-breaking irony is that we are constantly confronted by hard reality- destroyed relationships and broken hearts.  As much as we’d like to believe that ‘true love lasts forever’, we struggle in our twisted culture to imagine what that ‘true love’ actually looks like. 

Most men will proclaim everyone his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?  —Proverbs 20:6

Even those who profess the doctrine that ‘love conquers all’ find themselves in the name of love succumbing to the one thing that appears most successfully to conquer it.  When pursuing love and romance causes faithlessness, we can be sure that the desire for self-fulfillment is the cause, not ‘true love’. 

Christians know that love is sacrificial, like Jesus’ love for His sheep and romance is God’s plan for a beautiful marriage, but it’s easy to be confused by the world.

Midsummer Night’s Delirium

So many today go about like the characters in William Shakespeare’s well known play, wandering through the forest, confident in their ‘love’ for ‘so-and-so’ or wishing they could make ‘so-and-so’ love them back.

Tears flow, wishful imaginations rule, and promises, both actual and imagined, are broken.  Then, to complicate things even more, Puck- that impish, scheming fairy- enters the scene, making tempers hot and feelings run riot.  Everyone is thoroughly convinced in their own minds that their ‘love’ is genuine, but in the end, who can tell?  People want to be judged by their good intentions and sincerity, but think everyone else must be judged by their actions. 

Actually, everyone just ends up acting a little silly, as we know when a six year old tells us about her boyfriend troubles, and the whole confused mess can be traced back to one thing- someone’s mixed up ideas about feelings, faithfulness, and love.  No one knows what they are anymore, nor do we know how to control our emotions and get at the heart of the matter.

A proper image

Although it may be easier to allow our present popular culture to dictate what we believe about love and faithfulness; we are called to be different—a peculiar people in the fullest sense of the word.  The noblest calling is to follow Christ, forsaking the things of this world.  The Bible clearly reveals God’s will for love, faithfulness, and romance.

This granted, we know that it is our duty and obligation to God to search out for ourselves what He so clearly sets before us in His Word, albeit oftentimes too grand for us at first.  How can we know the truth when we do not read it thoroughly, seeking parallels and great mysteries?  Certain issues that plague us would be much more easily settled if individual church members would look for guidance unbiased by personal assumptions, and agree among themselves to abide by the principles and examples found there.

…For the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea.  —Habakkuk 3:14

We want to be filled to overflowing with this kind of knowledge for it is that which teaches us the way to live.  The first- and most obvious- example of faithfulness is that of our Lord God.  He is the only standard which we have that can teach us truth and that truth is better than any other pleasure, no matter what Mr. Worldly Wiseman may say.  He has given us more than enough to learn Who He is through His Word and through His Creation which fairly shouts at us of His beauty and love.

An adulterous nation

Hosea, one of the most romantic books in the entire bible, speaks of God’s faithfulness in direct contrast to Israel’s fickleness towards other gods.

…Ye are not my people, and I will not be your God.  —Hosea 1:9

The nation of Israel had gone after Baal, perhaps not even realizing how far one compromise can lead until they were actually serving false gods, bowing down to them, sacrificing their children’s futures to these deities- trying out new and more exciting ‘lovers’, and yet God revealed that this made them as if they weren’t even His people.  It is such a serious offence, hardly to be spoken of, and yet the way God explains it in human terms through the prophet, it sounds a lot like the modern dating methods- a slippery slope of fickleness practiced by those who don’t even realize that they are toying with deadly fire.

And I will visit upon her the days of Baalim, wherein she burned incense to them, and she decked herself with her earrings and her jewels, and she went after her lovers, and forgat me, saith the Lord.  —Hosea 2:13

A human relationship between flawed and sinful people is different from that between a perfect God and his fallen creation, but this image is very important to understand—and not just understand, but to embrace.  This is the image that God made which most closely resembles our relationship with Jesus.  Just as we see Christians being swayed from the truth by the beliefs of the world in which they live, the attitudes we hold toward romantic – or even ‘just friends’ – relationships won’t stay in their nice little category, but will spill over into everything we do, say, or think and will especially affect how we relate to our Heavenly Bridegroom.

The great engagement

The times in which we live are almost unprecedented as it comes to infidelity in marriage and the departure from the Biblical family.  So many things are pulling apart the Church in every possible way.  Have we forgotten Whose we are?  It is unfathomable that we would forget that a magnificent battle is being fought in heaven and earth, all over the Bride of Christ.  Who is going to win?  The Bridegroom?  or the rival ‘lover’ whose kiss is of death and whose very ‘love’ is hate and destruction?

Of course Christ will win, the question is, what part will we play in that victory?  By being the bride who is won, not lost, and by being loved by Him and loving Him we will play a beautiful part in God’s story of redemption.  Of course the Church will have difficulties and often seem to lose crucial battles, but this isn’t a sign that we were wrong about our relationship with our Heavenly Father, rather it is proof that we do indeed belong to Him, or Satan wouldn’t want us so bad.  There is nothing he wants more than to keep us from being God’s people.  Our responsibility, our duty is to make sure that any failures of the church don’t include us- we can only be diligent to make our own calling and election sure and encourage others to respond properly to God’s call.

The valiant knight and His damsel in distress…  Sound familiar?

Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfortably unto her.  —Hosea 2:14

The faithfulness of God is the only rock on which our salvation stands.  Why would we try to diminish the importance of something in our lives that is vital to our understanding of Christianity?  Now what will He do after He allures His bride?  There is absolutely no question of ‘winning her heart’ when the hearts of Kings are like water in His hands:

And I will betroth thee unto me forever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies.  I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the Lord. 
—Hosea 2:19-20

Somehow I find it difficult to imagine God changing His mind on how love, marriage, and relationships work just because the cultural norm is to date and break up having fun and pursuing pleasures before making a commitment.  He is unchanging- the ONLY thing that gives us any security because, think of it, if He ever changed, how could we expect the Bible’s message to remain consistent and relevant over thousands of years, many ‘authors’, and hundreds of chaotic world events influencing the views of everyone involved…  God reassures us that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

There are so many promises in the Bible: their very believability hinges directly upon whether or not God is faithful, whether or not He will keep His promises.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  —I John 1:9

So?  So this tells us that if God said back in Hosea that He is going to betroth His people to Him FOREVER in faithfulness, then you better believe that He still means it. 

Conclusion

If this is one of the keystones of God’s Holy character, which He revealed to us in His scriptures, then it is not to be taken lightly by us, no matter what we think about it- or what the world says about it- we have to choose the higher way; the faithful way.  Although at first glance this may sound as if someone’s trying to be ‘holier than thou’ or too extreme, we must remember that we are to be holy as God is holy.  We have to remember Jesus’ words:

Be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life. 
—Revelation 2:10b

…to be continued…

Part one/Part two